So let's just do a quick rundown on what happened to me in 2015.....Leggo.


In January ,


Started school again
Accounting was driving me crazy
I have no background in accounting
Drifting apart



In February ,



My last Valentine's day being attached
Broke up
My first photo shoot


In March,

Recovery
Bleached my hair


In April ,



My first time having a hen's night celebration with my girls
My first time stepping into a thai disco
My first time attending my good friend's wedding


In May,

Backstreetboys Concert
Surprisingly did well for accountings.


In June ,

Went on a couple of dates.
Didn't work out that well as I expected it to be.
Another photoshoot


In July ,


Started school again
Dated or rather was seeing someone for a while but I guess I wasn't ready to get into a relationship again.
Got promoted
Chopped my hair












In August ,



Nothing much



In September,


The Maine
Yay my first time going for F1
Maroon 5
Dinner and Dance
Again, I went to a thai club and got wasted so yeah first time getting wasted.


In October ,


Liked someone


















In November,





Dyed my hair black.
My 24th
My first pandora
Celebrated with my best friend
Really good company.



In December ,

A little sad.
Met a new friend.
Not too sure if I should have told Sept/October dude that I actually kinda liked him then but anyway kinda too late now because we don't talk anymore so yeah. If you are reading this, yeah I did liked you.
Hoping 2016 will turn out great.

I won't deny that I have chronic resting bitch face that I tend to not smile in most of my photos because when I smile, I cringe because I feel like it is so fake and plastic. Therefore I don't really understand how people are able to force a smile in their solo selfies. I am talking like totally exaggerated excited smileys. You guys are the best at trying to fake a smile that I would honestly be worried as hell if you were to compliment me with a huge ass smile on your face. Like do you really sincerely like my shoes or do you just hate it? And yep, mean girls references.

I am not sure if I've ever blogged about this. Probably I did in the #wannabemyboyfriend post (http://chanellearetha.blogspot.sg/2015/08/boyfriend-material.html) . You may click that if you are a new reader of mine and haven't read that. Honestly, whenever people ask me what kind of guys do I like or my preferances, I have no idea exactly which type I would like. However there are a few traits of a guy that I am attracted to.



#1 - Loyalty

I feel that there is nothing more attractive than someone who stays loyal to their special other. Maybe it is the era that I am living in whereby nowadays it is pretty common to hear of stories of infidelity. Haha, why doesn't anybody try to stay committed and loyal anymore? Maybe then again, it could be because of the vicious cycle of love. Someone nice falls for the wrong one and then because, they felt angry ....they treat the next person the same way and it just goes on and on. I feel that such mindsets should change because it isn't fair to just vent or have your revenge on someone whom is innocent and whom could have treated you better. I've never believed in a rebound relationship and I am sure that I'll never be one of those who would do that to others.


#2 - Admitting to Mistakes

If there is one thing that I find wrong about couples, it is that somehow....people are just not into admitting their mistakes if they have offended someone or whatsoever. Instead of apologizing, they'll start labelling the other party as being too sensitive etc. However, there is a fine line between admitting to mistake and just letting your girlfriend win every argument. Admit your mistakes only when you are in the wrong.


#3 - Someone who makes time

Someone who makes time for you is definitely someone you wanna be with because you know that you are important to him and that despite his busy schedules , he is still making time for you. I mean it doesn't have to be like meeting him everyday. Making time could also mean dropping texts, phonecalls , or even skype if you are involved in a long distance relationship. As long as he has you in mind all the time, you know you got yourself a keeper.


#4 - Someone who listens

I feel that sometimes arguments arise because there is lack of understanding between couples. It could probably be because both parties are defensive and therefore they fail to actually listen and so the argument just gets even more heated up. Honestly, if people took the time to listen and not jump into conclusions and making false assumptions, most problems can be resolved quick.




I feel that these few traits that I have mentioned is probably what everybody else would want but you know sometimes in life, you can't always have what you want and so, you end up meeting someone whom is pretty much the opposite of all that I have listed here.


Sigh, heading out to Gardens by the Bay later.... :)

If you are a fan of Korean Cosmetics and you'd like to get them at a cheaper rate as compared to those already selling in Singapore, I've got a wonderful piece of news to share with you guys.




As you may already know, Althea Korea is an online international beauty site that allows you to purchase Korean Cosmetics at a cheaper price as those in Singapore. The items are 100% authentic and also, you may get to try other korean cosmetic brands that may not be available in Singapore. They have a wide range of items from Skincare , Makeup , Cleanser and Pack & Mask. You may  also expect to find brands such as Etude House, Laneige , Innisfree, Holika Holika , Skinfood , Tony Moly, Too Cool for School...just to name a few.
Apart from that, you may also check out reviews of the items before you decide to purchase.


For my December purchase,
I decided to get Etude House's Bling Bling Eyestick, Etude House's Rosy Tint Lips, Sebum Out and Matt Cushion.



Omg, just look at how perfectly Xmas-y this is!
I swear it would be perfect if you were planning to surprise your friends with a gift filled with beauty cosmetics. Everything was well bubble wrapped and in their packaging. Althea was also sweet enough to actually put in a few samples for me to try !




For my December purchase,
I decided to get Etude House's Bling Bling Eyestick, Etude House's Rosy Tint Lips, Sebum Out and Matt Cushion.



What's Special This Christmas?

1. Free Shipping with purchases above S$30
2. S$7 off S$50 purchases with code XMAS-SG
3. Limited Edition Christmas Beauty Box (while stocks last)
4. Christmas sales and promotions on Althea Korea Singapore!

I know , everytime this time of the year...everyone is probably into all of these "New Year , New Me" bullshit. 2015 has been really good for me. There were equal amounts of up and also down times but overall, I would say that , it has been a really fun experience for me. Hahah and somehow or rather I realized that I was living and I've learnt that I actually enjoying drinking with my girl pals and just being around them and looking after each other.
So here's a list of things that I plan to do next year.



1) Be more in touch with my artistic side.

I kinda have this interest to paint and also sketching. I just feel that it is calming to just let the creativity juices flow and just come up with a masterpiece or something. haha , imagining myself painting now over the weekend. Pretty fun


2) Learning to cook

I can never master cooking instant noodles properly...but you know maybe for 2016, I would probably try to be able to whip up a few dishes or so. Simple dishes.


3) Changing my diet

I never once saw the benefits of eating blueberries but all that changed when I started to spam blueberries over the period of my preparation for my examinations. It works wonder. My attention span was up there and I was definitely more focussed. I guess you are what you eat so maybe if I started eating healthy, things might change for me



4) Learning to love myself or rather put myself before others.

I have always been the one whom would actually give in to others and sometimes I tend to care so much about the other party that I stopped caring for myself. I feel that it should change. The whole idea of putting someone as a priority and only to find that I am just considered as an option to them. In future, just do whatever I want no matter what day it is. No point reserving a day for someone. If they want you, they'll put in the effort as well.



5) Overcoming a fear

I am a very timid person. I am afraid of cockroaches, of heights , of water....I guess it would be nice to actually overcome a fear. I have never once enjoyed a rollercoaster ride because of my fear of heights and how it leaves me feeling nauseous thereafter. Yep, I am that lousy.  Maybe the fear that I would like to overcome as of now would probably be something that involves my mentality. Maybe to get over the fear of worrying about what others might think of me because I only have 1 life to live.
featu


6) I definitely would love to take up a new hobby. Probably skating or whatsoever.



7) Improving

I feel that the only satisfaction I am able to feel is probably when I am constantly improving on whatever I do best. Sometimes whenever you go through something that is sad and weighs you down, it is just time for you to step up and just keep fighting.



8) Making Time for the right people

I don't want to regret not doing something when I am with someone and if people are willing to spend some time or put aside some time for me, I should do the same as well.

Maybe I was addicted to the happiness that came in the form of you.
I thought about us today and everything that happened.
I thought about the way you smiled at me the first time we saw each other and how unexpectedly well everything turned out.
I guess I was drawn by how laid back you were and how you made me smiled....
We're complete opposites when it comes to personality but even so, all I knew was that you made me forget my troubles and my worries.
It's so hard to talk to you...
At the same time, I knew that you'd probably not really notice me because I am probably just one of the many others that you have.
Eventually, I could feel things between us began to change.....
I'd blame it on overthinking but no,
The distance between us is getting further....

It didn't feel the same anymore
I never thought that I would actually feel this way
And it got me wondering....
Wondering why or rather how could I feel this way.....





 And that's when I knew that all these while I've actually had feelings for you.
And maybe I am just a lovesick fool.

I was showering when I thought about Facebook.
I know right, of all topics , facebook.
It just kinda dawned upon me how close we are on facebook. How even though we may not be talking to someone anymore, somehow we still get to know how well they are doing or their next step in life. Be it graduation, wedding or the announcement of their first child, you would still be able to know without actually being legit friends with them.


Then what came into my mind was the difference between love then and love now.
Back then , there was probably no way that you would be able to peep into your ex-lover's life events because there is no way that you guys were able to remain contact. However now, as long as your exes stays in your facebook and is relatively active as you are, you would be able to somehow see how or what he is doing whenever you refresh the newsfeed or something. I am not saying like you stalk your ex but sometimes you just chance upon some things that your ex might have shared.
I thought about it for a while and I just imagined myself one day refreshing my facebook out of boredom and just see maybe an announcement that my ex lover is getting married or maybe expecting his first child. I just thought about how we are somehow still connected.


And then I had a smile on my face. You know at that moment when you see that everything actually happens for a reason and it didn't mattered to you who your partner was getting together with and whom his new wife is. All you know is that you feel happy for him. You feel proud of him for being wherever he is at and that even though things didn't work out between the both of you.Just be sincerely happy, give my blessings and respect. That feeling of acceptance and joy for someone.



Then I imagined even more and wondered if we would all still be connected even when we are in our 70s. Can you imagine a convo with your ex when you were 18 and then you talk to him again when you are like in your 70s? Just talking about how life was like back then. Maybe some of you wouldn't even bother about your exes or your ex best friends whoever, but I guess I am more of the sensitive sort. I tend to remember and value memories a lot. Whether good or bad, happy or sad....I guess experiences and moments make us who we are as a person. It is not that I am not over someone. It is just that I like to think about the past and feel nostalgic. You only have one life and you always meet people who leave footsteps in your heart. It also explains why I can get really sad whenever a friend forgets about me.I value whoever that walks in my life which is why sometimes I get emotionally torn and sad whenever someone leaves.


And then sometimes when I am on facebook, I happen to chance upon accounts on people whom have passed on and whenever I read the posts by others for that person, I just feel sad. It's sad to see posts of the memories they have of that person and how they miss them. Sometimes I go onto stalker mode, and I see posts like " It's been a year since you left all of us...".



Somehow I hope facebook would still be around even when I am in my 50s or so. I hope my blog still stays on the internet. It would probably be really interesting to re-read all of these that I have typed when I was younger and just re-read them. And probably having a "what was going on?" and just look back at the past.


I know people are always saying don't look back, and to look forward. Don't talk about the past. But honestly, the past makes us who we are today. So why not just think about it at times?




I wonder if anybody else feels the way I feel.
Or maybe I am just being too imaginative.

Sometimes I wonder why do I always land myself in situations that would make me regret in future. Maybe you can say that I am foolish or maybe I am just too crazy.
I have a habit of always offending people on purpose because I want to push them out of my life and then I regret whatever I do. Strangely, this time round...I don't feel any sense of remorse or regret.
Could it be that I am tired of people?
Could it be that I was already used to people leaving and walking out of my life that I no longer value whoever is in my life?


Everyone has their own set of problems but sometimes I rather choose to sleep whatever is bugging me off. I guess that is when I just started to explode and break down and rip everything apart. I feel that sometimes I can't tell people what is bugging me because everyone seems to be judging me for my choices in life and jumping into conclusions and thinking that they know me. Honestly, sometimes all I would appreciate is just a listening ear and not really someone who tells me stuffs like they know what is going on in my mind. I am honestly done convincing people of some things. Like whatever I do and post and I have to keep swearing to them that I am over blahblahblah and they take my statuses or whatever I post literally.


And whenever I tell other people of these things which were bugging me on top of whatever problems that I already have, those other people would start pushing the blame onto me and tell me stuffs like why do I even post such things if I don't want people to comment. Eventually, I feel like I am being attacked by everyone and it doesn't help that I am not the sort of person to just ignore things. So when someone tells me "just ignore lor. care so much for what" after they asked me what was going on, I just get really agitated. Maybe I need to come to conclusion that either I am crazy or people are the worst type of listeners. And then someone would say that I have such a high expectation when it comes to someone who would listen and I'll just burst because that isn't exactly helping me feel better.


Maybe I guess I feel frustrated and exasperated because when I needed someone to be there for me, no one really understood me and it just escalated into a debate. Therefore whenever someone else needed a listening ear, I would always be there checking up on them and tried to avoid things that would aggravate them further. So whenever I tell people of my problems, it's like I am screaming "Why can't you understand me?" and they just keep jumping into making judgements and coming up with their own conclusions.


An example would be

Me : No, I don't think I know your girlfriend. Why would I have a hot girl as my friend?
Friend : Why can't? You just want to be the hot one issit so that nobody else can be hotter than you?


This is an example of what would eventually get me annoyed because there he goes , jumping into conclusions and it just made me go "what?" and then he goes on probably talking like he knows me and I just get really irritated. Who even mentioned that I wanted to be the hot one in the group? Dude, like what century are you still living in man. Honestly when I said why would I have  hot girl ...it wasn't even in a sarcastic or shallow tone. I mean like seriously why or rather would I have an incredibly hot girl as my friend. What makes you think she would also want to be friends with me? LOL. ugh #icanteven


Honestly I am getting sick of people commenting me whatever I do or whatever I say. Whenever I post a provocative pic, and people would be like "Don't you have any shame to yourself?" or "Are you trying to get more guys?". I mean fuck, can't I just post whatever I feel like or take my photos however I feel like. I just took the photo because I liked it and I posted it because I liked it. There is no reason why but it is just who I am. So are you going to blame me for being myself whenever I do things that I like? Is it wrong to be myself?



To end it off,

Key values of this post
Honestly be a better listener by actually listening.
Don't act like you know someone

A lot of people have been asking me who am I dating or when am I going to have a boyfriend and if I have anyone in mind right now. Honestly, I feel that a girl should be free to make her own decisions as to who she wants to settle down with or get into a relationship. I mean come on people, love is not a game.

1. My favourite donut flavour is the sugar one (is that even a flavour)
2. My favourite non alcoholic drink is coke (But I'm trying to strike that out for 2016, we shall see)
3. My favourite chocolate flavour is white chocolate
4. My favourite starbucks drink is Green Tea Latte (HOT)
5. My favourite tea flavour is citrus
6. My favourite mint is spearmint
7. My favourite flower is tulip
8. My favourite perfume is Eau Ded Moiselle Eau Florale by Givenchy
9. My favourite lipstick is Morange by MAC
10. My favourite lipliner is Boldlybare By MAC
11. My favourite mascara is Better than Sex by Too faced
12. My favourite emoji is the poop 
13. My favourite number is 6
14. My favourite color is grey
15. My favourite alcoholic drink is lychee martini
16. My favourite snack is Jagabee (Seaweed)
17. My favourite sweet is Horlicks Malties
18. My favourite chocolates are RitterSpot in Whole Hazelnut or Meiji's Choco Gummy
19. My favourite animal is the shark
20. My favourite type of food is sushi hands down
21. My favourite fruit is dragonfruit
22. My favourite time is 6pm to 8pm
23. My favourite book is Memoirs of a Geisha
24. My favourite movie is How to train your dragon 2
25. I like guys in formal shirt especially white
26.  My favourite thing to do is laze
27. My favourite song is Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Rey
28. My favourite cartoon character is toothless
29. My favourite photo app is VscoCam
30. I love potatoes , egg with butter and chilli flakes

When I was in secondary school, I was really fond of criminal thriller novels. I would actually go to the library and borrow them and read everywhere. I really enjoyed writing back then so you can probably guess what was my favourite subject in secondary school. Yep, English. I just felt really accomplished whenever I get like above 20 for my composition over 30. I have a lot of ideas and I can just write and write and write.


I believe we all probably have had like an aim when it comes to choosing which polytechnic and to do what course right? well, mine was actually to get into Mass Communications at NP. Basically I wanted to be a journalist/reporter/radio dj. Yep, I remembered tuning into to say it with music when I was in Secondary 2 and back then, Jamie Yeo was the DJ and I wanted to be like her. However, despite getting an A1 for English, my COP did not meet the requirements, therefore I got into Biomedical Engineering at NYP.


You must be thinking why Biomedical Engineering? Well, firstly it seemed cool. Secondly, I just had doing anything Business related. I felt like dying in my previous semester early this year at SIM because I had Financial Accounting and Managerial Accounting as my modules. Total wtf to me. I can never balance the balance sheet. So engineering was more interesting for me. Basically in engineering, most of the maths you learn are pretty much Add Maths related. If you've taken Add Maths, then it might be helpful and also because I felt more satisfaction by doing engineering maths. It's like problem solving. They give you a formula, you plug in the value and you just try to get the answer. Im not too sure if its still the same but if it is then yay, hopefully this would give you a bit more pointers. Another reason why I chose Biomedical engineering was partly because it is medical related. I honestly enjoyed going to class for Anatomy and Physiology lessons and learning about parts of the body and its function. It made me feel smarter in a way. Frontal lobe, parietal lobe , occipital lobe , temporal lobe.... However, what I didn't like doing was lab work. I didn't really like lab work therefore right after I graduated I realised that I did not want to do biomedical engineering anymore.

As of now, I am actually doing my degree at UNISIM . I'm doing HR. Why the sudden shift ? Ever since I started working, I have this interest to know more about HR and like unions, talent development etc, why people resign and all. I feel that how an organization portrays itself and the culture is really important if you want to retain your staffs but unfortunately, not many organizations actually recognize staffs for their efforts and we get unhappy. Also, there is so much more to just that basically but if I were to talk about them , you guys would probably fall asleep.


Next post....

My favourite things :)

Hey guys, I am back again and this time round I would like to just share a few things that I happen to do or change in future. I know it sounds boring but I just decided to share it here anyway because it would be interesting if one day I decided to go back and actually see for myself if I have done the things that I want to do.



1) Giving up on carbonated drinks

Honestly, I am intending to just put a total stop when it comes to carbonated drinks and instead opt for other alternatives such as Iced Tea or if possible, just go for plain water. I've read a few articles on the benefits of actually skipping the drinks and I'd like to see for myself if I do experience any changes or whatsoever.  So apparently, skipping the carbonated drinks would help your brains to think better and it would help you with memory.


2) Fruits

I used to have really bad constipation two years ago because of how my schedule is like and also because I just don't like to do my business in public. So it was pretty bad for me. I've been drinking yakult like every 1 in 2 or 3 days to help with my digestion and it has made a big difference. Another thing that I have noticed when I eat fruits, is that I was able to think better and was more focussed. I guess it was probably due to the sugar. I don't know really hahah but I did feel a difference when I did my papers last week. I was constantly munching on blueberries and totally avoided anything that contains artificial sugar because I was afraid that it would affect my thinking skills. Hahaha, a bit too extreme but I have thus had my dose of artificial sweeteners right after my paper.

3) Banking

For 2016, I guess I need to start saving up for a few things. Basically one of it would be the Weekly Money Challenge and then another would probably be a savings account for me to save up so that I would have money to spend on people on their birthdays. I guess by having a savings account for them, you wouldn't feel that much of a pinch because you have already started saving for them since the beginning of the year. HAHAHA. I believe this would come in very handy in September as most of my friends are September babies. Also, I would probably want to give my parents something even more special. My mom's birthday is in May and so is mother's day. So yeah, maybe I'll get something awesome.


4) Online Shopping

I am honestly an out of control outline shopper and I should really stop buying clothes just because I feel the need to own it. It's like a really bad disease, an addiction actually. Clothes are mostly the same and honestly, imagine how much I would have saved up and probably get something which is worth the value. So we'll see.


5) Deleting people

I am starting to repel away from people who don't make me happy because I don't see a point keeping them in my life so if you see me, not talking to you for a bit or not talking much then I guess you would know that I am not happy whenever I am around you. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the people around me and I find that the reason why sometimes I get annoyed by people is because they think that they know me but they don't . I just don't like being around people who often have doubts about me or rather ask me questions which I find are stupid.
Such questions would include

"You like it meh?"
" Since when you like this kind of things?"
"You can meh?"
"Aiya please lor, with you sure impossible."
"I know you very well hor"  well in actual fact they don't.


I don't know why some people ask me such questions actually. I mean if I buy something or wear something, doesn't it  mean tha I like that item?  Basically I cannot stand it when people ask the obvious. I just find it completely irrelevant to continue my conversation with such beings. I don't know why people have to ask so much.


I know this is gonna sound like a total bitchy thing to do but sometimes I do wonder why do people still ask me out non - stop even after I had shown that I am not interested. I mean why do you guys keep trying. Am I supposed to feel bad ? Am I supposed to feel obligated to grow my feelings for you just because I have to? Must I really consider giving you a shot at dating and building a relationship together because of fear that one day no one would wanna marry me and then I'll end up as some weird ass cat lady? No. You know I am not really complaining of being lonely and I honestly feel totally fine being single. I am not the type who would settle down with someone just because I feel sympathy towards the person's effort. So yes, winning my heart over is not easy. I don't like giving false hopes to people and I honestly rather they do that to someone who would appreciate their efforts and treat them better than I can. Some girls are probably gonna jump right into a relationship because to them maybe, at least the guy can treat them better but for me....it takes two hands to clap when you want a thing as a relationship to happen. It also  explains why my pool of people whom I've friendzoned is getting wider. But at least I am not hurting anyone.


Therefore I'd like to leave my relationship status as "if it happens then it happens".


So there you have it, a few things that I would like to do for next year. I know new year new bullshit to some...but well let's see if I have that set of discipline to stick to what I hope to achieve. :)

Till then <3

I started going onto friendster and chatting up strangers at only 13. Back then , we had MSN.  Friendster was probably the early 2000s version of facebook and we could just add and chat with anyone. On friendster, I have met a few friends and what amazes me is that we still have a friendship together even though it has been probably more than a decade of online friendship.
What makes it interesting is that somehow or rather, we would always find ourselves back to each other. Maybe its because of how easy technology is and how easy it is to just dig someone from the past just by entering their names in the search engine. But you know, it just makes me happy thinking of how we were still able to retain that kind of closure even though we probably wouldn't have been talking to each other for like a couple of years. Despite the number of times we changed our numbers etc, we would still somehow manage to find each other again and then contact each other again.



Don't judge me but I met one of my exes from Facebook. Dude was like super far away from me and staying in Pasir Ris. We had a rather childish breakup after just a month together. Honestly, I thought that would have been the end for the both of us and that I'd probably forgot of his existence and we would never talk anymore but its kinda funny how we started talking to each other again when we were 16 and honestly just talking about O-levels like typical secondary school kids. We weren't the constant text buddies or whatever but along the years, we would still talk to each other and eventually we became best friends. It's pretty nice thinking about it actually. Like you first knew this guy in like typical lower secondary school age and now that you guys start talking about work and seeing him with his probably future spouse and you know just being happy. Honestly I guess social media helps us to see each other grow. I cannot imagine one day scrolling through my ex's facebook and seeing him with his kid. HAHAHA that one...can talk later.



Then it made me question a lot about the kind of friendships that I have with the people in my life whom I meet everyday or rather meeting more often as compared to those friends that I have facebook. Honestly, I can say that I have an almost 0 number of best friend whom I have been on like real life made friendship. A real friend made via real life and not through social media you know what I mean. It's kinda unusual I would say that somehow I keep going back to the friends whom I've met online and that our friendship seems more real as compared to those I've made in real life face to face. Maybe it is just a stupid illogical way of thinking but it's weird isn't it? But whatever it is, I have to say that I am pleased with all of the people that I've met and the friendship that we have together.



A few weeks ago, someone asked me..."How do you even stay friends with your Chris? I don't get it? Are you not over him?".

To be honest I have no idea like how to explain it to them. I am definitely more than over with my ex but I just don't really see a point why I should hate him or break all contacts with him just because of our failed relationship. I know to some...there is a saying that they believe in and that is "you can't possibly stay friends someone you used to love and that if you do that it means that the love you both share wasn't real". You know that's just a whole lot of crap and bullshit. I guess as you grow older, you just learn to grow stronger and see things from a more positive side of view. Well maybe it could also be partly due to the mutual breakup that we both had. I mean even if I were to hate him because of his reason, I don't think that it should be to that extent. Extent of hating him. You know shit happens and honestly, sometimes it is better of letting go of things instead of holding on. I am definitely over him and I have been on dates with other people and we are both happy for each other actually. Just because he is your ex, it doesn't mean that you guys should severe all ties with him. It might hurt for a while but sometimes if its a case of mutual breakup, then I guess you can still save a friendship out of it. Reason for that is because after all, that person once played an important role in your life and he/she knew almost everything about you. How you like your eggs done, the type of chocolates you only eat , your bad habits, your everyday schedule. And that person has been there for you throughout your whole relationship. I would feel that it is a waste to just lose a friendship so that's why we are both still friends. We may not talk to each other often but I do treat him as one of my good friends. But yeah, you need to know your limits when it comes to being friends with exes AND HONESTLY, HAVE RESPECT WHEN YOUR EXES ARE SEEING SOMEONE ELSE. Know when to back off.


 Sometimes I do feel my life is a drama. LOL.
Okay enough word rant. <3
Goodnight

Since I am already on the topic of Social Media. Here are 14 types of people/personalities you will find on your instagram/blog/facebook/ twitter....wherever.



1) The  Advertisers

I don't know about other people but I definitely stopped reading a few blogs because of the contents on their blog. It is always "Advertorial for ____________" , followed by a couple of photos of them either using the product or wearing followed by a quote "ABXDS10" for a discount code of 10% of your orders. But I would still like to thank these advertisers for the discount code especially when I need to be thrifty and be like on "aunty mode".

At the same time, don't ever rely on such advertisers if you are looking for reviews before you buy a certain beauty product. Well the reason is because most of the time, the blogposts might  not be exactly  true and you know, when you are doing advertising of a product, there are certain things that you have to mention in order to let your readers know and to sell it to them. There is a lot of puffery in most of the contents in the blogpost so don't fall for it.

2) The Foodies 

I hate it whenever I am feeling hungry and just as I scroll through my instagram, I come across instagram posts of food. It's like "Goddamit...why!" followed by a T_______T
I can never take a proper photo of my food and most of the time, there is nothing interesting about my food? LOL. And I don't really have the patience to wait for all of my food to be served and arranged properly from an eagle's view. Nobody has time for that when you are hungry man.


3) The Beefing up at the Gym

Sometimes I just get curious whenever I see people posting instavideos of themselves at the gym on a daily basis. You know like if 80% of the posts, is just pictures and videos of them at the gym. It's like "yayayaya okay I get it . You gym. You have a nice body. How many times do you wanna post?". Especially for lazy people like me, it makes me feel demoralise and well let's be honest, I am too fucking tired to even get my lazy ass out of my bed. Hahaha, anyway can you imagine if you had a foodie post and a gym post one after another as you scroll through your feed? One can only have 2 reactions if that were to happen.

  a ) Gym hard and reward yourself with a satisfying meal
  b)  Had a very very satisfying meal and to feel guilty as you scroll down and you see a picture of      someone working hard at the gym....and this " HAIYA IM SO FAT"


4) The Keyboard Warrior

I don't know why some people can have all the time in the world to maybe create a fake instagram account to attack people on their instagram or whatever. Do you know how "leceh" (Malay slang for troublesome)  it is to actually create an email just for the sake of creating a stupid fake account on facebook and on instagram and to just attack people? But I do give you keyboard warriors a round of applause for having so much patience and endurance to actually go through all of that just to say something stupid. I guess the funniest part would be when you know your "fun time" is up when you are blocked or reported.

5) The Traveller

These kinda people really make me feel jealous. They are always travelling and seeing the world and sometimes it seems to me like they don't have to work at all. Until, after digging in a bit more...and "oh chey, they are cabin crews". But nonetheless, sigh. Jelly.


6) The "80% Boobs, 20 % face "  in a photo

It is totally fine to post a photo of your boobs and your face. However girls, your facial expressions and the amount of boobies you show and your face...needs to be of equal proportion. If it is gonna be just a boob pic, then all the way boobs okay. I've came across a few photos of girls obviously pushing their boobs up and just sticking their tongue out. You know what it makes me think of. A titfuck. You definitely nailed that titfuck imagery into the heads of all the men who looked at your photo.  And also if you wanna be a tease, don't just take photos from the front angle of the boobs. Take underboobs shot or sideboobs.

7) The Drama Queen

I don't know why but whenever I see such drama instaposts, I feel sorry for all of the hardship that one has to go through. And sigh, why is your life so dramatic? I mean how do you even actually live when your life is so dramatic.

8) The Jenner/Swift/Grande wannabe 

Ugh *rolls eyes*. I find it annoying whenever girls try to pull  a step "Kylie Jenner" or "Ariana Grande" on snapchats or whatever. How is that even cute? I mean fuck off already. I feel like I have just wasted my time looking at you trying to lipsync to Drake. I don't really know how I should feel or rather appreciate that piece of work you just did. Okay maybe ...congratulations? You nailed your lipsync. Wow, impressive. *slow clap*

9) The self proclaimed squad goals

Dear Teenagers,

"Squad" is pretty much an in-thing after Taylor Swift's Bad Blood. But the real "squad goals" is when all of you go through shit together and do everything together in a team and no bitchy catfights. #squadgoals doesn't mean "Oh wow my girlfriends and i look so hot right now". That is not even goals. Goals is when you go through shit together. Maybe if there is an alien invasion and you girls...are able to defeat the aliens then sure , #squadgoals to you. But until then, please shut the fuck up already.

From a 24year old.

10) The one who takes selfie every single day and honestly you don't see a difference 

Me. Even I myself wonder why do I always take selfies when it's not like my face changes every night or so. Don't ask me why I take selfies every single morning but just yeah... it's just a habit that I can't seem to shake off. It is a disease.


11) The very deep soul

Give me a few pints and there I go talking deep shit with you.Once in a while, we all need a bit of motivation and a bit of thoughts to get ourselves either motivated or to just be calm. Sometimes it is good to think a lot but sometimes it can also be a bad thing when you overthink because...nobody would want to hang with you. When you overthink, you might actually be more of a pessimist and then you just feel demoralised and just scared. But sometimes when you go overboard with deep thinking, nobody actually understands what the fuck you are trying to say because you are verbally rolling in the deep.


12) The sexualizes everything

I like dirty jokes but sometimes people may actually find them to be offensive. Well anyway, it is 2015. Everything is pretty much sexualized. Like back then when I was 5 , I'd probably see a banana as a fruit...but now, if my pervertic minded of a friend were to ask me, "Hey, you wanna eat my banana?"...my mind just goes "hey, wanna suck my deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek".  And come on, just mention the word "sex" and you get all the views seriously. Even better is if you actually had a sextape.


13) The Fashionista

The fashionistas are the people who make me wonder where all their clothings go to after they have worn them. You don't see them repeating the same outfit over and over again. Which makes me wonder if its a "buy this and take a photo and then throw in the closet" situation for them. I do like some of the outfits that they wear but sometimes...well let's just say it is a tad bit too much for the weather here in Singapore. If you were to wear a fur coat in Singapore, the first thing people are going to say is "You mad ah?". So yeah, sometimes I just can't comprehend what goes through the mind of our fashionistas.


14) The Self Proclaimed model

Anyone who owns a dslr can call himself a photographer and anyone who gets their photos taken by using a dslr camera, can call themselves a "model". Basically anyone can be a model. It is easy to spot these accounts. Most of their photos posted on their social media accounts are selected carefully and are all of them modelling. Then you go to the instagram accounts of legit models like Kendall Jenner or Karlie Kloss and they are all just posting their everyday lives on Instagram. I guess that is what Instagram should actually be like. Just sharing and posting anything.


So there you have it...14 types of people you would meet on social medias. I am sure there are more types of people but these are probably a few "popular" ones. Thank you for reading :)

"Essena O' Neill" was probably a foreign name to a lot of people, me included, until yesterday when she made news that she decided to just quit everything off her social media because nothing is what it seems on the internet and how she she re-edited all of her captions and changes it to captions which tells how the story was actually made.

I wonder how many actually fell for that "stunt". Haha by sharing the posts around, she is just going to get more famous. Very smart move I would say. Okay, but yeah I don't know her so I shouldn't judge her but hey, I am just like everybody else. I have opinions as well and that was what I thought.

You know,  when you are famous and you do something drastic like "Quitting social media", people are actually going to pay more attention to you and start following your Instagram and all of your other social media accounts and "preach". I mean, let's be honest, that is probably one of the smarter ways to actually get an attention and it definitely is working for her. And come on, majority of the people in the cyberworld are always hungry for attention and the thought of getting easy money and sponsorships is just wonderful. It's like a triple win for you. You get famous for promoting free clothes and get paid at the same time. Dream job , right? You don't even have to work so hard for that amount of money that you are paid. Just get someone to help you take a photo, work with some filter and edits and boom...there you have it 5000 likes within maybe 3 hours. Okay, maybe I am just exaggerating a little too much on that part. And if you are lucky enough, you might get invited to private events like Fashion Week or whatever, even though some of the outfits...in my opinion...is pretty "meh". You know just go because you are famous. Famous for what, that I don't know really but who cares right. So thank you to the creators of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Blog for making people feel more relevant to the world that we have today even though nobody knows what the heck they are famous for.


Everyone does it differently. Some of us just like to start a "war" with another blogger because, people love seeing fights. They love drama and action.  And some of us just get into a 'drama' with an irrelevant other because of an instagram post which has no link to a certain caption,. Haha not mentioning names. :X
No one is really gonna pay attention to your blog if you are just gonna be blogging about advertorials and all of your sponsored clothes. Okay, I take that back...maybe some of us need inspiration but seriously, do you actually think that these "bloggers" or "fashionistas" would wear leather jacket in Singapore's weather?  And some would have a total change of circle of friends and would only choose to be around famous people as they would be able to get more exposure and people would want to know more about them. Well for the ladies, all you need to do is just show them titties off and the boys would be like liking you and fapping to your photos. Take me for example, I guess people would check my blog out because of all of the #nsfw things that I blog about and for my suggestive racy photos on my instagram. Therefore, most actually have that impression of me as someone who is sexually active and probably sleeps around a lot. In actual fact , I don't?? But heck, I don't really care what people think of me.
As long as you are being true to yourself, then I don't see any problem.


But maybe you know, people should just get a chill pill and not bother so much about how many likes you get, how many new followers you have and how many views you get per month. Why do people actually compete the number of followers they have against each other?  If people really like you, then they will just automatically follow you. I mean why are people so preoccupied with all of these figures.


Therefore , social media is pretty much full of shit because majority of the people you see on the internet are cock sucking for attention. Myself included.  I mean without the internet, how else are you going to know the existence of some of our very famous Singaporean bloggers or international bloggers. I guess the internet is just a place where you can be famous without actually work so hard for fame. And I am sorry if whatever I am saying is very messy and whatever, I've just had 3 hours of sleep last night and I have been busy mugging for my exams. Sighpie. Till then <3



PS : I have  a feeling that people are probably gonna be thinking that I am jealous of some successful people but.. meh, I only speak what's on my mind. But for some of my followers or readers, you'd probably already know me as someone who only talks about the truth  and nothing but the truth

To the boys around me, I may be considered as a bitch or rather an Ice Queen because of the way I treat them.
I am not a fan of taking people for granted neither am I a fan of playing with feelings.
Sometimes it can get hard to reject someone without being called a bitch.
Basically, I would say that I want to take my time before I consider getting into a relationship again.
Stepping into a new relationship can be really tiring.
And if it doesn't work out then, I feel that there is a lot of time and effort lost.


By saying that I do not want to rush for a relationship, it doesn't mean that I wouldn't settle for it or if I don't want it. Yes, I do want to be in love but only if I found someone who matches me. Sometimes I feel unsure. You know how guys are always like "Maybe you should try things with me and see how it goes" and then when you sort of complain about being "single" then they would label you as someone whom is hard to please or "well good job bitch, you put them all in the friendzone".


If I don't have any attraction to you then why should I even consider of trying things with you? I guess it is probably because of the guys I meet and the way that they present themselves that puts me off. Sometimes I do feel that whenever guys use the "self pity" tac tic to garner sympathy, it just doesn't work for me. It puts me off completely. Another thing that guys do which puts me off as well is when they use the " will you please just give me a chance" or use a "see you should have dated me first because I know you first before that guy". Well dude, I am sorry that my heart is like a brick but honestly, why would you keep trying and hope that I would change my mind just because of you. Yeah sure maybe we could hang out as friends but somehow, whatever you just said....It kinda made me don't even feel like meeting you to hang out because I feel so much pressure. Like I am pressured to at least have a bit of feelings with you. I honestly appreciate it when guys back off when they know that I am just not interested in them or see them that way. I mean good job guys, at least you are not going to get yourself hurt.


Sometimes I feel like Im in a dilemma of feelings. Like if it is better to like someone or better to be liked. Life is really a mystery. Most situations would probably be like you like someone but the other party doesn't like you but there is someone else whom likes you. So should I give that person a chance ? But what if I really don't see them that way? Wouldn't I be hurting them in the process as well? Wouldn't it be considered selfish of me? Wouldn't it seem that I only cared about how I am feeling and just dump them and leave them heartbroken because of me?


Speaking of all these leads me to the next point. Are all married couples truly happy with their spouse or are they just doing that for the sake of getting married? Probably because of a shotgun marriage and you didn't want to embarrass your family or maybe because you feel that you are getting older and you just see the "need" to settle down. Whenever I get hit on by married men, I just wonder a lot about marriage and asked myself if people are ever loyal. If you marry someone, shouldn't you be loyal to them and not do things that will upset your special other. It is easy to say that marriage is just on paper and nothing lasts forever, but what about your life together as a couple. Why would you even risk losing your partner over someone whom you have just known, say for the past 4 months?




Love is so messy and complicated.
But I wouldn't say that I will not have another shot at it again when the time is right.

I have a love hate relationship with period. I guess every other female is as well.
So what better to write about this since I am having it now...
Hah, not pregnant phew!
But ... oh wait I forgot...I am...forever alone

• "oh my god, it's here" O_O

• I just want to go home
• I am a dying cow
• Weird cravings at really random hours of the day
•  You can't wear white bottoms for the next 7days
• Grandma panties for the next 7 days
• Can't tell whether you need to poop or it is just the cramp
• Sometimes the cramps hurt so bad that it feels like you just got stabbed by an invisible force
• Your breasts swells up
• Sleep can get really uncomfortable for me because I like sleeping on my sides. So when I sleep on the left side, I can totally feel gravity pulling my breasts down and it is such an awkward feeling.
• Your tolerance level for people is really bad
• My tolerance for long winded people is really bad. LOL. I'd just snap "I DON'T GIVE A SHIT JUST ANSWER MY QUESTION".
• Yay I am not pregnant
• I am horny
• Can't masturbate
• Horny + PMS = Cranky
• Cramps come and go again
• Just want to be in bed underneath a warm blanket and have a hot pad over my tumz.
• Every single thing makes me tick
• Ugh go away
• Can't wait to remove my bra
•  Omg shut up
• What do you want?
• Leave me alone here to die
• It is amazing how much I am bleeding and I am still alive
• Do other mammals go through a menstrual cycle?
• Wonder what guys would do or rather how would sanitary pads look like if men could have menses
• What if one day girls have sperms and the guys have eggs
• Hungry
• Counting down to period free days

1. Sometimes it is worth letting go of something that makes you unhappy
2. One door closes, another door opens.
3. You don't live to please people
4. It is not wrong to have your own opinions on things
5. Always be brave to stand up on your own
6. There will always be a rainbow after every storm
7. It is perfectly normal to just cry when things don't go right because if you don't cry, you probably won't be able to move forward.
8. People come and go in your life. If someone is still there in your life for you throughout all these while and despite whatever, it means that you mean a lot to them.
9. Never settle for something that you less than deserve
10. When you wake up each day, you have a choice to either start off happy and end the day happy as well...or you can wake up being cranky and feel like nothing will ever go right
11. People will always be a pain in the ass
12. My favourite past-time is ignoring
13. Don't let small things get to you.
14. A "last seen" or double blue ticks does not determine your friendship level or any relationships status
15. It is perfectly alright to go out and have a meal alone.
16. Whatever you see on instagram or facebook is not real
17. Sometimes the only way to be happy is to get rid of all the toxins in your life
18. People will always have things to say but if you ignore it and just continue living your life, you will be alright.
19. As much as you think that shit won't get better, it eventually will.
20. Treat others as how you would like to be treated.
21. For every unhappy moment or sadness, think of the brighter happier times you've had with that person.
22. Never stoop to a low-life
23. Today is the oldest you've been and the youngest you'll ever be again.

The people I meet, the conversations we shared, the way they smiled and what they like.
What makes them sad , what they are thinking of and just being a listening ear to them.
The way before my favourite singers get onto stage and got everyone hyped when the lights went off because you know it is all gonna start very soon.
The way it felt when our skins meet, the way it felt when their fngers are intertwined into mine,the way you can feel your heart beating so quickly and lastly the way our eyes meet after a first kiss.
The way we felt a sense of achievement after we finally are done with school.
The way it felt to actually start on a first job.
The way it felt when we have our first argument with our special other
The way we actually screamed at each other and hurled some nasty comments to one another that would eventually make us regret and makes us feel sad.
The way your heart actually broke for a little bit when the person whom you cared for said something that made you upset.
The way it felt to just let things go and be alright again.




Probably missing a couple of people right now hence the post.
But nonetheless, goodnight <3

A few days ago, someone asked me what do I do most of the time...
Well I like thinking a lot....

On some days when I feel slightly low or just feel the need to escape from the people around me, I just set my handphone to airplane mode and just disappear for a while. Sometimes it feels good to just not be interrupted by anyone and just spend some time alone to yourself. Being alone helps you clear out your thoughts and help you find yourself better. It helps you find out your true feelings and just calm yourself down. It also helps me find inspiration.

I always have my coloring book with me or an empty notepad.
I'll then look for a quiet place and just pen down my thoughts.
Sometimes you just have too many on your shoulders and you just want to let it out.
I don't really like sharing my feelings with people because I am the stubborn sort.
I don't like listening to opinions of others but I guess maybe I haven't actually found someone whom is able to relate to me or to how I feel.

In the past, it may seem difficult to actually meet a person of the opposite sex but nowadays everything is so much easier because we have the internet. You can just add any chick you like, send her a messsage or just slide into her DMs on instagram and just wait and see if she replies you or not. If none of that work, then there is dating websites for you to try. Dating websites and apps are getting more popular and convenient to use. You have apps like OkCupid, Tinder, Paktor and everything else.A dating app can be fun if you actually managed to find someone to your liking however, most of the time...the people there are just to hook up. Maybe only 1 out of 6 guys sincerely want to know you? I've been on Tinder for a few months, months ago..and I kinda got turned off. Some of the guys are really nice and we are friends in real life.  But here are some things that guys do that turns me off...completely.


1) when boys keep asking me to take a photo

I mean dude, what is up with like "hey can you take a pic for me?" or "hey send me a selfie". I mean like..come on..I already have so many selfies on my social medias and it is not like I have transformed overnight or something. It gets pretty annoying. I will send you my selfie if I want to. But then again, I don't send so many selfies to guys because then they might have an impression of me as being someone whom is so in love with myself. haha, I wouldn't be surprised if people have that judgement of me whenever they browse through my instagram because of my selfies. But I really like editing my photos and it is just one of those things that I do when I am on my 40min train ride to work from home. I am sorry that the photos are not as of great quality as some people because most of the pictures were taken early in the morning like at about 7am before I head to work and there is not much sunlight. Well, partly also it is because of the haze. It seems very gloomy and dark lately.

2) last minute ditch dates

If there is one thing that I hate the most, it is when people cancel things with me at the very last minute. My schedule is pretty tight because I have work and school. And besides that, I am the type of person who prefers to have plans instead of just doing something aimlessly. I will just get annoyed if I am out with someone who doesn't have any plans.


3) guys who are only DTF

You can very easily identify guys whose objective is just to fuck. Most of the time, they start with a lot of flirtations and subsequently, they will start throwing you questions like if you are open minded or looking for any flings. Another way to identify, is when they ask you to send any nudes. If you are meet such a guy, you should get your objectives defined and make it clear to him exactly what you are looking for. Girls can be quite vulnerable and sometimes it just takes a few sugar coated words to make our hearts melt and just say yes to whatever the guys say. I'm guessing that if any of these DTF dudes know your weakness, then....pretty much game over for you. And when it is game over, he is probably not going to talk to you anymore...so nope. I am not putting myself in that kind of miserable position. If a guy just wants you just for a fuck then he is not worth it.


4)Not being able to accept that they are rejected

You know I am not fond of putting or rather giving people false hopes if I am not into them. So sometimes, I may just appear really cold or might just tell them that it won't work out for us as we are not compatible. It is always better to be honest and truthful than to just lie to someone especially when feelings are going to be involved. However, most of my experiences with such guys haven't been exactly pleasant. I get called "bitch" , "transsexual" and "ugly" a lot whenever I turn them down. Heck, I didn't even insult them or called them names but yeah I just get called a lot and they will just start calling me names. You know, if you are a guy and you do that to a girl, you just convinced me further as to why I should just not go out with you or proceed to another level with you. It just shows your maturity and nope. no go for me.




5) egocentric

haha dealbreaker for me. A little of ego is still fine however, if we are on a date and all you talk about is just yourself, yourself and only yourself and your "achievements" which I would think that some are just lies that you had made up to impress me...then congratulations sir, you just turned me off completely. Even if he is as good looking as Johnny Depp but is just downright full of himself and think he is right, it is still a turn off. If your date is already so full of himself, picture being in a relationship with him. There is a high chance that he would not even apologize for his mistakes if you both had an argument.


6) calculative

I am not saying that guys should pay for meals just because they ask me out. I think it should work both ways. But I guess the most calculative date that I have been on was when this guy brought me for dinner but he told me to choose the most cheapest meal and to share it together. So basically, it was a shared meal. The meal was about $12.90 I suppose. LOL. The worst is when they actually keep pestering you to pay them back right after the meal. Boy if you are asking me out, please don't go cheap on me. I am an adult and I can pretty much pay for my meals so don't tell me what I should select from the menu. Most of the time, guys get the bill but I guess girls should also take the initiative to ask what was the amount and just split it. When I know I am out with a guy and it seems like he is going to be the one paying it for me, I would normally order very little or probably get the cheaper value meal or if he buys like a lot of dishes and asks me to eat, I would normally finish mine first and not eat his share because...paiseh la. LOL. (Paiseh is a common Singaporean slang which describes a sense of feeling embarassed in the most discreet way. Haha got this off Urbandictionary. )

7) mommy's boy

I pray to God that I will not end up marrying a mommy's boy but sometimes they say opposites attract. We are adults already and sometimes life decisions shouldn't be made by your parents. I know you have to respect your parents but if your parents are deciding everything for you then please do not even try to woo me or ask me to marry you. I need a man, not a boy. LOL.


8) the only talk to you because he needs something

No different from when you have friends who just got into a new relationship and you know your friends are gone...until maybe when they have broken up with their special other. Just block these people really.  If they need something, just tell them that you don't have anything.


9) the drunk 3am calls

If a guy calls you at 3am when he is drunk, you should cut him out of your life. Firstly , it is very inconsiderate to call someone in the middle of the night when you are drunk. What is worst is when they keep calling you back even after you have hung up on them. I don't need an alarm clock at 3am okay. Another thing about guys who call you when they are drunk at 3am is probably guys who haven't gotten over their ex-girlfriends and want someone to confide in.  But a true friend will not interrupt you when you are sleeping.


10) the one with baggage

The last thing for anyone is to date someone who hasn't gotten over their exes. You can probably consider them again once they are like back to their normal self. I don't really fancy dating anyone who is still in pieces and all. And anyway, sometimes listening to your date talk about his/her ex can be quite tiring and boring at the same time. Worst is when they are just looking for a rebound to fill in the empty space in their heart.


11) the one who keeps on saying "yah , you should have dated me and none of this would have happened"

I hate it when I talk to someone about my own relationship problems and the only thing that they do is to just use "yah , you should have dated me and none of this would have happened" against me. I mean who are you to tell me who I should have dated etc. I have my own preferances in the type of person I'd like to date. And sometimes I do feel that it is a waste of time telling people about my problem because I feel like it is a game of squash. First they would ask me what happened, and then say "oh" or "see la, shld have dated me but you don't want". I mean fuck off, I need a real listening ear. You hit the ball to the wall and the wall hits back at you. See, squash.