Primary and Secondary School Nightmares.

18:00:00

I was just talking and sharing my  school life with one of my friend which made me feel like sharing how my school life was like when I was younger. I dealt with being bullied, peer pressure and just being demoralised every single day. So, hopefully this would somehow be relatable to some of my younger readers.

To be honest, if anyone asks me if I loved my primary and secondary school life, the answer is a definite

NO.



Throughout my years of studying in primary and secondary, the lesson which I hate going to was Malay. It was such a burden to me. I could not understand anything at all and often, I was being picked on by my malay teacher in primary school. It was downright demoralizing and honestly, sometimes I wished I could argue back. It was hard for me to communicate in Malay at times because I was brought up in an environment whereby the only language that we could speak in was just English. I did not really watch malay cartoons nor did I have much malay friends because they would think I am a weirdo and start saying hurtful stuffs to me like "she is malay but she dont know how to speak. what kind of malay is she?"

The juiciest part was when my malay teacher told my mom during a parents meeting session that, "your daughter will never make it for her malay. she will fail so badly". 

Well guess what, I GOT AN A. So it was like an "in your face" situation. 



If I had the chance to turn back time, I'd probably tell that teacher off. You are an educator and you are supposed to set a good example for your students however you are biased and not professional at all. You are not supposed to discriminate others just because they aren't good at certain things. You are supposed to encourage them to do better. 


I was often called ugly,anorexic and I seldom have like a group of friends. In secondary school, everybody was judgemental and there were a lot of backstabbing incidents. To this day, I do find some of them to be rather a joke. You see, I am a Muslim, however most of the time I get judged in school especially during camps as I do not pray while I was in camp. People started talking bad about me and says hurtful stuffs. Religion is rather a sensitive issue and partly, if you were religious or anything, you probably shouldn't judge others. God doesn't encourage that. So in a way, those girls were probably hypocrites to their ownselves.


In secondary school, most of the time, the topics that we gather and talked about were pretty redundant and useless as I think back about it. It was always " Ohhh A is so pretty!" and "Sigh I wish I looked like that". There is this constant comparison/competition amongst girls  that I find unnecesary. And no, that constant comparison is not a good thing. It was unhealthy and demoralising. I was getting compared to other girls who were prettier than me and I felt depressed most of the time. It was a waste of time. I should have just concentrated on other important things like getting my grades up. But I guess that is all part of growing up. The whole idea of finding who you really are.

I was often an outcast with the girls. But it's okay. :)



When I think back about all these incidents that I have experienced, I just feel that....what is the most important thing to do is to just be yourself. If you keep comparing yourself to others, you will never be able to be you. Everyone has flaws and each flaw has its way of making you unique. People may judge you , but they don't know your story. Just try to do your best in whatever you do and do what you like. Grades are way more important than trying to fit into the group and hearing too much negativity.

The one thing I notice people can't stand it is to see others have it better than themselves. So just keep your head up high :)

Haters will always be waiting to see you fall so don't give them a chance to see you fall. :)

What I learnt from growing up is that sometimes you need to get rid of the little things in life that makes you upset and start appreciating other things. I am glad that I am no longer around such people. People who compare and compete all the time. It is probably just a girl thing to always want to be better than the other. But why waste your time comparing? We are all not the same.


And to the people who always like to judge others, maybe you should pick up a hobby or something to occupy yourselves rather than make other people feel shitty.




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