Week 1


A week has passed since the breakup. I try to keep myself distracted by being around friends and doing work and studying. It's going okay so far. The breakup was mutual. I mean, what's the point of holding onto it if the other party does not see things the way you do. Eventually, everything came to an end. It was disappointing actually to realise that after all that 16 months ++ (fyi we were close to our 17th) , it just took us at least 1 month to have our feelings fade off. Well it was more of his. There wasn't much communication between us and our texts just grew lesser as the days went by.

 It's sad how someone whom used to always text you becomes someone who eventually stopped texting that much. I wouldn't blame him either as he was busy with work. The sad part was that I was willing to wait. I wanted this relationship to last but I guess after a while, it wasn't worth it if the other party was not going to work on their part. You need 2 hands to clap. Apart from the distance, we also broke up because of our religion and our future together was pretty much unlikely.

At first, accepting the breakup was really difficult for me. I remembered crying so much and I really felt like I was dying, like my world was coming to an end. But maybe, sometimes things happen for a reason. I haven't exactly put away the things which Chris has given me because I am still not ready to forget him completely nor have I deleted our photos because most of the time that we spent together were pretty good memories.

Somehow thanks to this breakup, I learnt a few things.

1) Everything happens for a reason
Chris and I have ended things in a calm and mutual way. Maybe we aren't meant to be together but meant for other things such as being friends. I know they say that being friends with an ex is difficult but I feel that I do not want to forget the friendship that we have built along the way. We both went through so much together so I feel like it is a waste if we were to just throw everything away and go back to being strangers.

2) Your strength
At first , I really felt like I have lost hope in everything. I began to feel unmotivated and like I don't know what I am living for. I was too reliant on Chris. He was pretty much my best friend and everything combined together. He was someone whom I could tell anything about and was someone whom I would text or call immediately when I have a bad or  good news. After a while, I began to pick myself up again and I realised that I was actually doing fine. I began doing the things I like and started to feel happy. Once in a while, I still do get thoughts of him but I guess this is the part where I start to mature and start to look for other things in life that I want to achieve.  I feel that I shouldn't just waste my life away over a breakup. It wasn't worth it. I had to get back on my feet and just move on.

3) You grow up
Every breakup is like a learning experience. You learn and become a better person from before  who you were when you first stepped into the relationship. You reflect on what you have done right or wrong in the relationship and hopefully you don't make the same mistakes when you are in the next relationship.

So far, I can say that I am proud of myself for being able to do things independently and for being able to get back on my feet.

Walking away from something that I thought would have lasted is definitely not easy for me as I am someone who hardly steps into a relationship. I do wish Chris all the best for everything in his life. :)

For every new ending, there is a new beginning... :)

Until then, I'll just have fun

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