If I ever commit suicide, this will be my final note


I don't mean to sound depressive like lately but I just feel really sad. Like after a while, I just realised that I have been lying to myself that I am fine. Just putting on a fake smile and telling myself everything is alright and trying to ignore whatever that is making me feel sad by occupying my time And it gets worst because sometimes I am around people whom I find are not grateful with what they have in their lives and they try to compare theirs to mine and make it sound like mine is not so bad actually.  But I guess the grass will only be greener from another person's point of view but sometimes I do find that whatever those people are complaining about is stupid. The problem to be honest lies with them but they are probably in denial most of the time. Sigh, why do I always surround myself with idiots sometimes.

I am not too sure why or what I am being sad and annoyed about but I just feel it. Lately, I am in that "please dont come and bug me" mode. Sometimes I set myself on airplane mode because I really don't feel like talking to anyone. I get annoyed when people keep asking me questions or when they are just standing very near to me. I guess I am starting to hate people. I hate people. Sometimes people just don't know when to just shut the fuck up about things when I post them on my facebook. I get texts from people telling me to cheer the fuck up and all. You know what, it is easier said than done. So just shut the fuck up with your stupid advices. I don't need them and I am sorry that I am not being a very appreciative person.

I don't know why but sometimes I really feel that I am surrounded by people who don't have a brain. It is pretty obvious to tell when I am in a foul mood but no, some of these people would just talk about themselves like I give two fucks about their lives. dear god, isnt my face black enough that people can't seem to see it? See, bunch of selfish self centered people. 

So yes I apologize again for being in a foul mood but...ahhh it is better to just rant it out here than to just bottle up my feelings and go crazy and just die.

I am fucking hell sick of living up to people's expectations.I am sick of people telling me what I should or what I must do. I am fucking sick of people trying to act like they are concern when I don't fucking need your fucking concern.  If I wanna die or not, it is my fucking business. Don't fucking tell me not to or don't. Seriously, driving me up the wall. 

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