HOW TO PICK GUYS UP IN A CLUB

21:40:00

Hello ! It's Monday again. Draggy, boring and ugh disgusting. 



Anyway, I was just thinking of some pick up lines or what you can do to attract that really good looking YUMMAAAHlicious stranger in a club.



Yes, I know...I don't even visit clubs so how would I know...but trust me, these are a few things that I would do if I was indeed clubbing.

SO HERE ARE SOME TIPS FROM ME FOR YOU TO GET TO KNOW THAT BEAUTIFUL STRANGER



Do note that I am not responsible if he just "err"... or "...." you. But hunneh, don't cry because that guy is not worth it as he does not have a sense of humor and he thinks he is too koolz to be with you.


So you are at a party or club and you see this really cute stranger. In your mind, you are like "oh hello there , you look like someone I would wanna wake up next to tomorrow morning"..here is what you do next.

1) MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT
 Make sure he has his eyes on you and give him the ultimate death stare. Keep eye contact for at least 10 to 15 seconds. Don't smile. Just open your eyes really widely and just stare. If you smile, you are gonna look like a serial killer and no , we do NOT ...i repeat...DO NOT...want that to happen.

2) LEARN HOW TO DANCE
So you know that you are going to clubbing so you have to know and own a few moves that would definitely attract his attention. Go youtube and google for some dance moves and start shaking your hips like shakira because you know "hips don't lie" and well, A MAN LOVES A REAL WOMAN. So if he knows that you don't lie from your hips, girl....he is gonna ask for your digits.

3) DANCING BUT STILL NOT ATTRACTING HIS ATTENTION
The hips move didn't work aye? Hmm...Proceed to swinging your arms 360 degrees in both clockwise and anticlockwise direction. He is DEFINITELY gonna see you. I wouldn't recommend using a deodorant because...the trick here is to actually airing your armpits so that whoever is dancing near you will smell you and just concuss on the floor because Damn girl, you'd be smelling like peaches. 

4) I GOT MY EYES ON YOU
So you got rid of all of the people who were surrounding you at first. You are now standing in the middle of a group of people who have fainted. HE IS SURE TO NOTICE YOU. LEMME GUARANTEE YOU ON THAT. HE IS GONNA LOOK AT YOU AND BE BLOWN AWAY BY HOW INCREDIBLE YOU LOOK AND SMELL AND THE WAY YOUR ARMS JUST SWING LIKE YOU DON'T GIVE A DAMN CAUSE IT'S YOUR FAVOURITE TRACK AND YOU JUST GOTTA OWN IT. GUYS DIG GIRLS WITH CONFIDENCE. 

5) IF HE DOESN'T MAKE HIS MOVE
Well if he DOESN'T make his move, YOU make your move girlfriend. Dance towards him...and if he looks away, look away as well and pretend to just bump into him and make sure you drop your drink on purpose. Don't worry about it spilling on your dress or heels because guys, they don't want someone who is too vain or throwing a bitchfit because "OHHH YOU RUINED MY DRESS". Guys hate drama queens. So when he sees that you have dropped your drink , use this : Sorry, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine


And girl, you have indeed found love in a hopeless place.
Your welcome 




WITH LOVE,
Me

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