Zedd - Beautiful Now ft. Jon Bellion

09:16:00







It is 11.42pm and Years&Years "King" is playing in my room.



Have you ever felt like you just want to disappear from everyone at times?

I tend to use "airplane" mode a lot when I am in one of those moods.

Sometimes I get tired of replying texts and answering calls so I just shut myself out from everyone.

I am tired.

Sometimes I find more happiness when I am alone and just being free.

I let go of things very easily.

I don't see much value in a lot of things lately.

Probably because I have been hurt a lot that I just don't have or rather stopped having expectations of people.

I don't really share my true feelings with people because what's the point.

No one is going to understand me anyway.

Maybe
it is because I am just unsure of what I want or I am just getting
tired of repeating how I feel to everyone because eventually everyone
will start comparing their life to mine and somehow it becomes a reverse
heart to heart convo.

Instead I am the one who needs to lend a listening ear when it should be me.

Everyone thinks that I am happy....

That I have no other problems....

Or maybe my problems aren't as big as theirs.

So I just don't tell people how I am....





But when I don't shut myself out from everyone....

I tend to let myself really loose....

I just want to feel high...

I find happiness when I am surrounded by my friends and just having fun.....

I was definitely not the sort of person I was a year ago...

Took a trip down memory lane on facebook....

I was somebody's girlfriend, I was probably too stupid back then to feel that we would have lasted.

I was definitely hoping it would last but I guess eventually good things will come to an end.

And fastforward now,

I
am just trying to live my life by surrounding myself with my friends
who have been showing me a lot of love lately and making me laugh and
just making me happy.

I love my friends a lot.

It's hard for me to stay mad at them sometimes....





 My priorities are different now....

I just want to live in the moment.....

I just want to experience new things.....

I want to remember all my first-times with the people I meet....

Like their favourite food

Like their favourite color

The way they smile...

The way they smell

The way it feels when we hug

The jokes we make...

I guess the reason is because I don't know what would happen tomorrow therefore

I just want to make the best of things...





Decided to end this post on a rather upbeat note...

Goodnight X)



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