I know that this is really random and may seem rather morbid but sometimes I think about death a lot.
I wonder what death feels like...
I wonder who will be at my funeral
I wonder if I would be able to see my own funeral
I wonder what happens next after I die.

Then I realised I am afraid of dying...
I am a sinner, I sin a lot.
I'd probably go to hell but before that I just hope I get to talk to God.
Is living difficult or is dying better?
I am turning 24 next month and all I feel is that I am just very sad and not looking forward to that.
Part of me would possibly be because my parents are getting older as I am getting older and at the same time, I guess it is every kid's fear of seeing their parents die.
Like parents fear seeing us die, whereas it's the other way round when we are their children.
When I was a kid , I always thought that we would live forever.
Then one day , my grandma passed away and everything changed.
I felt like I had lost the light in my life.
You know, celebrating special occasions or even family gatherings no longer mean as much to me as I was when I was younger.
I hardly socialized with my cousins or my aunts.

Pardon me for my rather depressive update.

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