unexpected and weird


I started going onto friendster and chatting up strangers at only 13. Back then , we had MSN.  Friendster was probably the early 2000s version of facebook and we could just add and chat with anyone. On friendster, I have met a few friends and what amazes me is that we still have a friendship together even though it has been probably more than a decade of online friendship.
What makes it interesting is that somehow or rather, we would always find ourselves back to each other. Maybe its because of how easy technology is and how easy it is to just dig someone from the past just by entering their names in the search engine. But you know, it just makes me happy thinking of how we were still able to retain that kind of closure even though we probably wouldn't have been talking to each other for like a couple of years. Despite the number of times we changed our numbers etc, we would still somehow manage to find each other again and then contact each other again.

Don't judge me but I met one of my exes from Facebook. Dude was like super far away from me and staying in Pasir Ris. We had a rather childish breakup after just a month together. Honestly, I thought that would have been the end for the both of us and that I'd probably forgot of his existence and we would never talk anymore but its kinda funny how we started talking to each other again when we were 16 and honestly just talking about O-levels like typical secondary school kids. We weren't the constant text buddies or whatever but along the years, we would still talk to each other and eventually we became best friends. It's pretty nice thinking about it actually. Like you first knew this guy in like typical lower secondary school age and now that you guys start talking about work and seeing him with his probably future spouse and you know just being happy. Honestly I guess social media helps us to see each other grow. I cannot imagine one day scrolling through my ex's facebook and seeing him with his kid. HAHAHA that one...can talk later.

Then it made me question a lot about the kind of friendships that I have with the people in my life whom I meet everyday or rather meeting more often as compared to those friends that I have facebook. Honestly, I can say that I have an almost 0 number of best friend whom I have been on like real life made friendship. A real friend made via real life and not through social media you know what I mean. It's kinda unusual I would say that somehow I keep going back to the friends whom I've met online and that our friendship seems more real as compared to those I've made in real life face to face. Maybe it is just a stupid illogical way of thinking but it's weird isn't it? But whatever it is, I have to say that I am pleased with all of the people that I've met and the friendship that we have together.

A few weeks ago, someone asked me..."How do you even stay friends with your Chris? I don't get it? Are you not over him?".

To be honest I have no idea like how to explain it to them. I am definitely more than over with my ex but I just don't really see a point why I should hate him or break all contacts with him just because of our failed relationship. I know to some...there is a saying that they believe in and that is "you can't possibly stay friends someone you used to love and that if you do that it means that the love you both share wasn't real". You know that's just a whole lot of crap and bullshit. I guess as you grow older, you just learn to grow stronger and see things from a more positive side of view. Well maybe it could also be partly due to the mutual breakup that we both had. I mean even if I were to hate him because of his reason, I don't think that it should be to that extent. Extent of hating him. You know shit happens and honestly, sometimes it is better of letting go of things instead of holding on. I am definitely over him and I have been on dates with other people and we are both happy for each other actually. Just because he is your ex, it doesn't mean that you guys should severe all ties with him. It might hurt for a while but sometimes if its a case of mutual breakup, then I guess you can still save a friendship out of it. Reason for that is because after all, that person once played an important role in your life and he/she knew almost everything about you. How you like your eggs done, the type of chocolates you only eat , your bad habits, your everyday schedule. And that person has been there for you throughout your whole relationship. I would feel that it is a waste to just lose a friendship so that's why we are both still friends. We may not talk to each other often but I do treat him as one of my good friends. But yeah, you need to know your limits when it comes to being friends with exes AND HONESTLY, HAVE RESPECT WHEN YOUR EXES ARE SEEING SOMEONE ELSE. Know when to back off.

 Sometimes I do feel my life is a drama. LOL.
Okay enough word rant. <3

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