"Slide to view snapchat from Audrey"

I picked my phone up and opened the app.There she was, my best friend and a few others. Just being happy and drunk  at like what....3.45 in the morning while I was busy doing my papers. Man, I wish I was with them..just having fun there instead of being where I am right now. I've been up and doing my papers since 11pm. Maybe it is time that I just get some sleep.
I closed my books and just crashed onto the bed.


"Slide to view snapchat stories from Audrey"

I must have slept like a log. 4 Missed Calls from Audrey and another snapstory from her. 'Ah Audrey, forever with her drunk dials and all'. I was somehow amazed that I managed to sleep through it all. I opened my app. Something was not right. Audrey was sitting on a chair but....she is tied to a chair? I thought I was seeing things at first but I replayed it again. Audrey WAS really tied to a chair and she had a black tape over her mouth. Then I saw an unknown black figure behind Audrey with a silver...what appears to be a knife and it slid across Audrey's throat. I could hear her muffled screams as the knife started sliding across her throat and blood gushing and spurting out everywhere. Her body twitched for a while before it became lifeless.I tried to scream but I couldn't because everything happened too quickly. I was in great shocked that I just dropped my phone. I couldn't believe it. Who the fuck is this sicko? What does he want?
Then, there was a knock on my door. It was my mom. She told me about Audrey and that the police are currently investigating the case. I did not know what to do. I just know that I had to show the video of Audrey to somebody. I hurried over to the police station but by the time I tried to show the story, the story had  already  been deleted. The police were still investigating the case.
That night, I paid my last respects to my best friend.


A few months later, my boyfriend wanted a break up. If only Audrey was around. Unfortunately, the police weren't able to track who was behind the killing of Audrey and so the case was left un I was feeling lonely and really depressed. I was contemplating whether I should try my luck on Tinder to maybe strike a date or maybe a rebound. I didn't had to swipe for long before I met Aaron who had "superliked" me.

Not bad, quite cute.
Ah he seems really nice from the photos and wow he loves animals,judging from the photo of him hugging a little puppy.

26, working as a web designer.

Aw, my heart melted for a sec and I swiped right.

And then I received a "Hi" from Aaron.

We texted for a bit before finally we started exchanging numbers and began messaging each other. Our texts were quickly becoming more frequent and it wasn't long until we decided to finally meet up. It was my first time meeting someone from the net.

Dinner with Aaron left me feeling really happy. I honestly did not expect myself  to be able to find someone who is able to understand me so well and whom I can get along with.
But even so, I wasn't ready for a commitment at the moment.
I wanted to meet more guys and have more options.

I went on to meet a few other guys,Mark and Jason. Jason had invited to come over to his place for a drink or so. It was then that I realised how stupid I was. He tried to fuck me but I managed to kick him off and left the stupid place. I remember calling Aaron right after and he fetched me from wherever I was at. I knew that I was at fault for this and that I should have declined the offer. I told Aaron all about Jason. Aaron was so understanding. He didn't even blamed me for it. He just hugged me and told me that everything was going to be okay.





(to be continued.........)

When it comes to people, I find it hard to deal with them sometimes.
There are people whom I can get along really well with and some whom are just plain stupid.
Which is why sometimes I rather just be the mean bitchy bad one since a lot of people have such opinions of me anyway.


I won't deny that I do have a really bad temper and sometimes I tend to voice out my frustrations because I am unhappy. There are times when people would act like they know me, or pretty much pretend like they understand where I am coming from when I am saying some things. And most of the time, whatever they say kinda pisses me off because I find their replies to be stupid.
I guess that is why sometimes I don't go back to the same people whenever I have a problem or feel like having someone to confide in. It's because you find that their replies are....insensitive.
Then comes to the part where these people would ask me why I don't share stuffs with them anymore.
I mean why should I share with you when you don't even understand?



I don't get it. Why do some people keep complaining of the stuffs I write but still continue reading because they want to know what my thoughts are?
If you are having a lot of arguments against my thoughts, why do you still read?
Whether I want to make this blog a place for me to vent my frustrations, say whatever I want....
I don't think that it is anybody's business to tell me what I should or shouldn't do.
What I should think or shouldn't.
If you think that reading my blog is like flipping open a horror story, then please feel free to click the [x] sign.



After a while I just started feeling that I rather be the baddie when it comes to dealing with people.
No matter what I do, the fault just comes to me.
Like if they gave me a sensitive remark and I counter-attacked it, they would somehow  push the blame back to me for being overly sensitive etc.
In the first place , why do you even say things that would eventually annoy the other people?
I feel that some people just say things without thinking.
If you have at least put a little thought or put yourself in the other parties' shoes, maybe you might understand their feelings better.



So yeah, let me be the bad one instead.

I feel that it is about time that I start addressing this question.


Seeking for Attention?


I believe most of you probably got to know of my blog and my instagram are most of the time quite familiar with how racy my posts and suggestive my posts can get and probably have had thoughts if I am doing this in order to attract attention or to get attention from males.

Well, the answer is no.


Basically,this is how I really am and I actually enjoy what I am doing.
I am just doing whatever that makes me feel happy.
If I was really hard up for attention from the guys, I wouldn't even be here blogging or like busy playign and editting my photos.
I don't need any attention from guys and even if they do give me, what's wrong with that?

You see, I don't post an 80% boob pic in an eyelash sponsorship advertisement (haha, yep I did come across someone whom did that).
That is THEN what I would call as attention seeking.
Because if you are considering to post a photo on instagram with regards to your sponsored eyelash, shouldn't the photo be focussed mainly on your eyes.
I mean what is with the gritty pixelated pics of yourself with like 80% boobs/cleavage and 20% eyelash when the whole idea is to actually promote the lashes.

And I don't stick my butt out on purpose in photos to appear more bootylicious or whatsoever.
You know how some girls just get into an awkward position just to...show it.
I mean if you got it then flaunt it.


To me what defines "Attention Seeking" is someone who lives off attention.

I mean people need to stop having this mindset that it's A cup Breasts and my non existence butt that attracts viewers to come and read my blog.
If you come and think of it, wouldn't their impression of me be  : Bimbo.

I don't even like squeeze my arms so tightly together to create a deep cleavage or whatsoever in my photos.
Heck, I hardly even wear push up bras these days because I have been into the whole thin lacey lingerie stuffs.

Yeah sure, I won't deny that my photos can seem like as though I am seeking for attention but in all honesty, no. So if you still have such opinions of me then, you know what...go ahead.

what's wrong with showing a little sexiness and sexuality every once in a while man?



For my blog/posts,

I don't write just for the sake of garnering views or whatsoever. Like I've said before, it all just started out from a hobby. Obviously, I didn't expect Men's Health or whoever to come and read my blogposts. They just chanced upon it and hence , the feature.
I do feel that as long as you are doing something that you like and people are starting to recognize you for your work, you will always have jealous people whom would say stuffs like "oh she is just wanting attention" etc.

You know it is really hard to please everyone but I don't feel that I should please people.
I like what I do so fuck your opinions of me.
You don't even know me and to be honest, I just felt motivated to write because of the sweet things that people have been telling me through my DMs and everywhere else.

Come on haters,
If you want to bring me down...then try harder.

It's  a Friday night and I am home.
Just penning down my thoughts during my shower.


Have you ever once felt like if there is anything wrong with you at all?
Like why no matter how you are , people will always be there to say things that make you lose
everything in your life.
 I am not sure if I am just feeling this way because it is that time of the month or maybe I am just sensitive in a sense that at times, I do take whatever people say a bit too sensitively.
You can't blame me for that, it is natural and I am only human.
I have feelings.


What made me feel this way today was the fact that I was deeply disappointed in how someone whom I thought would think of me in a better way just had this negative thinking of me instead.
I don't know how to explain but I am feeling very disappointed.
You know that sudden realization when you look back on the past and you think of all the good things you have done and shit that you probably didn't even need to go through but went through anyway. It just made me wonder a lot on how I am always being too nice and I let people have their way with me. Even though some of them are just really selfish, I'll just give in to them.


It always seem that I am the bad one. Apparently, when it comes to me.... it is only my bad problems that people remember me for. No one sees when you are doing something good. Well, that is life. But then again, it is up to the people around you to see the good in you and not the other way round.
All of this depends on the people that you are with I guess.
It is always good to be around people who understand you and are supportive of you and your decisions.

People who send you good vibes and encourage you instead of people who are always putting you down.

Sometimes you shouldn't just judge a person by their photos or by their past.

Also, if you don't have anything nice to say, then just keep your opinions to yourself. Just because you know a person once or in the past , it doesn't mean that the person is still the same as the one you met a long long time ago.