A lil bit about me

17:59:00

When I was younger, say 15..I used to have like a really sensitive soul. I would be very careful of what I reply to people because I didn't want to offend people. However, as time went by, I found myself becoming more of a sarcastic and aggressive person. I am not complaining about my sudden change of behaviour but I guess it is just something you do once you have gotten enough shit from people that you just tell yourself to give 0 hecks to people who don't matter.


So as you guys know, I am like bone skinny. And I wasn't the sort who would argue or "fight" back when someone were to make a cynical remark towards my weight. It seemed pretty alright for them to insult me because hey, I don't have feelings right? I don't argue back right. Yeah , 15 year old me would probably just smile on the outside but feel really hurt on the inside. But who cares right? 15 year old me is just smiling on the outside...a sign that I was totally happy and cool with the stupid ass remarks that person made , i. e : "If you were standing in front of a tornado, you'd fly off", " you're so skinny ...it's like hugging a bag of bones".

And one fine day, I just replied "What the hell does me being skinny have to do with you?".

And from then on, I was known as someone who was either having a bitchfit, pms-ing or just straight up rude and with an attitude problem. Let me ask you then, how is my reply considered as being rude when you are the rude one to make uncalled for remarks or pointing out obvious things that I am clearly aware of for the past 25 years. Yes, I get it . I am skinny. I am pretty much a narcissist and very conceited. How can I not notice my bodyframe? 


There were some times when people would tell me to change my behaviour and sort myself out. Telling me not to be rude and to be kind to people. The problem doesn't lie with me. It lies with the people I meet who think it is acceptable to make such remarks and then not being able to handle the comebacks that I make. It is just one of their pathetic ways as to not admitting that they are in the wrong. 


If you have this opinion of me as someone who is always ranting about people and all, I can assure you that this isn't a rant. It's just me voicing out my views and opinions of what I think it is right. I feel that people are afraid to say what they really feel because they care a lot of what others might think of them. You are right. I was like that once until...I just thought to myself, "why should I care about other people when they don't treat me like I have feelings?"

I am not easy to get along. That I won't lie.
I have a lot of views of my own and some people are not open to accepting the views or opinions that I have. 
I do argue with my friends at times because we have our own disagreements and such.
I don't like it when people just jump into conclusions when I tell them something or people who enjoy making  a huge fuss out of a small thing. I am not the type who would go confront someone about even the littlest things as long as I am able to clear the shit up myself. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I need a " Nope didn't ask for your opinion" push button on myself whenever someones tries to tell me what to do in life or whatsoever when they are not even in my life in the first place.

With that being said, I prefer having a bitchy, straight forward persona to having a really nice gentle and sweet girl personality. I honestly don't give a shit if guys think that I am bitchy or stuck up just because I refuse to go out with them on dates and such. It's just that I don't want and I am not interested. I won't invest my time into something that I am not even interested. 
Maybe I have high expectations but I just truly don' see the point of it.
I am aware that I am pretty much a cold-hearted bitch but I know what I want. 
So if you're a guy and you are trying to ask me out and if I've rejected you , it clearly means I am not interested.
You may tell me to give you a chance etc but I honestly don't like wasting my time.
I don't like wasting my time as well as time for the other party.
You can tell me that you would want to wait for me but let me just make it clear that you are definitely not my sort and I don't see myself building a future with you.

 Sometimes I don't like being mean and nasty but most times, I am that way because of experiences. I mean, all of these...are as a result of growing up. You are going to experience a lot of different things anyway.
You'll start realising that you should not care about the feelings of others if they are insensitive towards you , voice out your opinions on things and just learning to grow. Hopefully, you'll start becoming a better person.

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