Basic Bitch Starter Pack (SINGAPORE VERSION)

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How to be a Basic Bitch


1 . Frozen Yoghurt or any latest current dessert craze

It doesn't matter whether the dessert tastes good or no.
It doesn't matter whether the desserts are worth what they are priced at as long as they look good and #instagramworthy.

If you wanna know what's in trend and #instagramworthy, head over to woowsg located at Plaza Singapore. (Nope, this was in no way sponsored by any affliations of Woowsg for this mention).
Just doing this because I care a lot on how you guys wanna be basic. :)


2. Skinny Mint Tea

Simply because we don't do Starbucks anymore except for when it is nearing Fall... yes Singapore.. Fall. In simpler terms , the month of October - November. We don't have fall here in Singapore because we are geographically located near the frigging equator so we don't have winter and the trees in Singapore, well they are always with leaves.Your basic bitch in Singapore needs her Iced Pumpkin Spiced Latte even though maybe just hate it. Sometimes Iced Pumpkin Spiced Latte can be fattening over time, so basic bitches now drink Skinny Mint Tea or any Tea that is supposedly helpful when it comes to detoxifying and cleansing your body.

Question though : Why is it that such companies that produce Skinny Tea sponsors such teas to girls who are already skinny by nature? I mean who would be so stupid to actually believe that it works for those girls. Oh I get it. Publicity and Influencer. See that's how that came to the picture. Skinny bloggers and influencers talking so highly about skinny teas but you don't even know if they've lost weight because they are skinny to begin with and you are just blinded by it all.



3 . Crop Top and HWS Combo or the whole sports wear like getup but not exactly going out to run


Sometimes I get confused by what people wear. Especially if I see them like stacking on denim outerwear over their crop tops and high waisted denim shorts in the Singaporean heat. I mean I gotta give you the respect that you actually survive the entire day without getting a heat stroke or a rash in your armpits. Oh yeah, I've forgotten to mention how these days,every basic Singaporean girl are on instagram and just showing asses or tits. I've never once seen so many tits and asses all at once. Oh wait, I am guilty of that too teehee. But to actually NAIL the whole basic bitch look, get yourself a photographer from Instagram, get a hotel room and just do lingerie shots. It'd be better if you have more inks on your body because that is what people would really want and to be basic as hell. We're talking SG potentials. Not suicide girl potentials, but Singaporean Girl potentials. Then again, please be aware of some photographers who might end up just talking about bedding you and... well you know what I mean. UNLESS you are open to that idea then lucky him.

Another one is to just get in your sports bra and put on some brown eyeshadow to draw abs to let everyone know how sporty you are that you don't want to be in anything else except sports bra



4. Uses term as #wanderlust and constantly talks of how she loves travelling...

You know I used to be really fine with people when they talk about how they love travelling but it just makes me roll my eyes so much when a girl says she loves travelling and you know what her job is... is a cabin crew. Like duh, I get it. You enjoy travelling and yes perks of your job is to travel but don't you have like other hobbies as well that you might want to talk about. Anyway, has anyone of you ever met anyone who compeletely shuts the idea of being able to travel or immediately says NO and strongly objects against going on a holiday?



5. Blogshop outfit coordinates or advertorial discount codes

I swear that having such blogshop models just modelling out some sponsored apparels has made me save a lot with their quote name for 20% off. That is the only time that I actually find their advertorials useful. It has nothing to do with their sense of fashion.  Because if you ever needed basic inspiration, please head on over to 2 Orchard Link 237978 otherwise also known as Scape/Cineleisure.I just needed the darn code.

#truestory


6. Music Festivals

Not hating but I do find that if you ever needed a basic girl or boy to fall in love with and marry, you can always find them at music festivals. These are the fun people and yet very predictable people. Predictable because if you mention Laneway, you'd see these hipsters with their straw hats and flowers in their hair. We don't have Coachella here...but I'd love to see how boho then we'll be while we stomp around in the muddy grass patches of Gardens By The Bay or just some empty space of grass. I swear some of these peeps are pretty much just there for the hype and not because they know the act. But it's okay because you're basic as fuck.





7. Cafe Hopping

Basic people don't do basic food. Instead we choose to splurge around $17.90 for a smoked salmon croissant or sandwhich that we could probably make ourselves for a cost lesser than that. Oh and don't get me started on how then people would go for all the "ATAS" or very difficult to pronounce drinks...but once you've drink it... it's just lemon tea. People pay for the name of it...and that's what basic people do.


8. Dab and Squad Goals

Dab used to be pretty fine until people started overdoing it that now everyone just seems to have the "Is my armpit stinky?" pose and just poses which covers their nose. Guys, calm the fuck down. Get a Deodorant. Do you guys actually need sponsors to get yourselves one? Okay, fine. I'm doing this for you. NIVEA and all other deodorants, please help to sponsor Singapore's Influencers or young teens because they have a serious case of body odour.


Squad Goals is pretty much girl power and how women actually empower each other and all that jazz. But now, squad goals are pretty much just a group of girls who just got over puberty and just hashtagging squadgoals for the thrill of it. I mean yes, you clan of 15year olds are such an inspiration. Omg thank god, I was born in the 90s and not the 2000s. You can find your basic bitch in one of those hashtags.


9.Kylie Jenner . Kendall Jenner , Kardashians 

The Kardashians/Jenner are everywhere and EVERYONE wants to be them. You can definitely see by how these local basic bitches would try to relate everything to "Omg, that's so Kylie", "Omg I wanna look like Kendall". Also, not forgetting the Kylie Jenner Lip Kit. Hahah every basic bitch has one. Even me, because I consider myself to be basic.... at times.


10. Overcontour and Overhighlight

Contour and highlight is good when you want to define your features. Basic bitches know that and that is why we tend to them overly because we want you to know that we are contouring and highlighting our features. Okay, we don't spend that much money on Becca Cosmetics Champagne Pop for $48 just for nothing. We want to light up from within. And also, because we just want to show you that we too have defined features.




Well I hope you have enjoyed this blogpost. Clearly, all of these are just as a joke....
:P

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